I have everything and more to be grateful for. I come from a big family who loves me. I have three university degrees, a solid career, a big house in an enviable neighbourhood within an hours drive to the mountains. I share my home with a fit handsome husband, two super kids and dog that is currently sleeping at my feet. I have 1,192 connections on Linkedin, 458 friends on Facebook, 122 followers on Instagram, and I don’t understand twitter. Between work, family, travel and a bit of exercise thrown in, my days are generally scheduled from 6am to 8pm. I am busy.
But I feel alone. Not in the sense that there is no one around me at the moment, which admittedly, there is not. Rather, that there is very few persons out there that I connect with, that know who I am, whom I can be vulnerable with and who are vulnerable with me. I feel like I am sitting on the outside looking in, watching life speed past, and missing it. I want to participate, but I just don’t know how. I think I may have have lost the ability to put myself out there, to make friends, to bond with humans, to share this life with others.
So whining to the inter-verse, is that going to help? Likely not. But perhaps its not just me. Perhaps in writing this I can explore ways to get out there, participate, and feel like I’m living. In writing this blog I can hold myself accountable to change.
I want part of a life that is bigger than whats in my own head.
It's Lonely in Here 